Jackass: Anime edition
by demonicdogangelisback
Summary: Closed! Go to walkerofthemojave for my new fanfic account!
1. Chapter 1

Just to prove I'm alive

DD: Welcome to the Jackass: Anime edition! Since I'm a special fucking snowflake and I want to do something different than the average "Dare" format, first things first, let me set up some ground rules.

DD: Rule number one is, use reviews to show what you think your favorite anime character should do that will either humiliate, harm, or do both to them. I don't mind either way, it's funny.

DD: Second rule, if you give me an example of how much of a sociopath you are in everyday life, and I'm impressed by it, you get to be my filthy assistant in the next round. Why filthy? Because you are a sick, SICK, person to be my assistant.

DD: Third rule, at the end of every round, we get to put on the very same shock collars our reluctant contestants wear, and are forced to do a Stunt that they think of, in theory, we will be hurt, A LOT. Expect bullet wounds, scars, rape, super rape, burns, and rashes to be on you when their through with you.

DD: Fourth rule, be creative, I will literally force any anime character to go through any torment you ask, super obscure series? I'll be reading up on it!

DD: So boys girls, and everything in between, lets join around for the next episode of Jackass: Anime addition!

Kanda: I fucking hate you.

DD: Quiet prettybitch!

DD~


	2. In which Italy turns badass

DD: Alright we got two stunts prepared, so let's kick this like an ugly baby! Kanda, Italy be prepared.

Kanda: This is going to suck, is suicide an option?

DD: No, and you are literally going to suck in this dare, put this on. *Gives Kanda a playboy bunny outfit*

Kanda: Wait… What the fuck, what am I….

DD: Here's the address, put on a good show!

Kanda: Wait, I'm supposed to…. YOU ARE A FUCKING SICK PERSON! YOU ARE HORRIBLE AND I WILL RIP YOU APART WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE!

DD: Hey, I heard Jiraiya LOVES chicks with issues, so he will have some fun with you! Alright, dress him up!

*Two guards appear and put Kanda into his Playboy Bunny outfit*

Kanda: Wait… JIRAIYA! Oh fu- *Kanda is gagged, bound, and thrown into a van*

*One night later!*

DD: And he should be back in three, two, one…

*Kanda walks into the room, pale, shivering, and wide eyed.*

DD: So, how was your stay Prettybitch?

Kanda: I will torture you for decades and decades in the most painful fucking way imaginable. DO YOU HEAR ME? I WILL- *Thrown into a soundproof cell by guards*

DD: Well, that was interesting to say the least, after he was (Expunged) with a rabbit while (Expunged) Sideways all the while being (Expunged) with a rusty, moist (Expunged), I would place his total recovery time at 6 months physical, 2 years psychological.

Italy: *Twitching and hiding*

DD: Don't worry Italy, it'll be alright, I was just joking, that's all! *Crosses fingers*

Italy: Really? *Gets up*

DD: No, I'm just fucking with you. *Pushes a button*

Italy: Cazzo... *Falls down a shaft*

DD: Now for a little info on who he's going to fight, he's an eyeless, tough son of a bitch named Dero, he has hooks for hands and has killed several dozen people in the last few days, also, he thinks he's a demon.

Dero: This is necessary, This is necessary, This is necessary, Life feeds on... Someone new? *Dero grins*

Italy: Don't mind me... just hanging around... *Starts crying* Please don't kill me Benito is a bad boss just leave me alone!

Dero: Don't think of this as KILLING, think of it as, returning ot the ground from whence you came!

Italy: Oh god, do you have hooks for hands and OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT CORPSE!

*The rest of the fight scene was cut out due to the fact that it was too weird to comprehend.*

*Italy climbs out, mad and covered in blood.*

DD: How did you even-

Italy: I HAVE HIDDEN DEPTHS. Now I recommend you think twice before throwing me in a pit with an eyeless FREAK.

DD: Okay, well that wraps up this round. No offers for being my filthy assistants yet, but i'm hoping, see you guys later for the next round of... Jackass: Anime edition!

This round we learned that Italy is a hidden badass, Jiraiya is a perv (As usual) Kanda is a convincing girl, and Dero got beat to death with his own spine!


	3. In Which Allen turns into DJ Not Nice

DD: Alright, so I've been getting more popular, so this chapters going to be a bit more long than usual.

DD: So now onto our first two dares, from Fayfan, we have Allen Walker, and Kanda!

Kanda: Why am I always the one who gets the worst dares?

DD: Because you're that much fun to injure, now put on this playboy bunny outfit.

Kanda: Again?

DD: Yes.

_One forced fitting later…._

DD: Alright, now go to France's cell.

Kanda: But… last time I saw him there he was… prancing around naked with a rose…

DD: * Activates Icy hot patch on Kanda's junk*

Kanda: HOLYFUCKINGSHIT-* runs off*

DD: *Presses a few buttons on a keyboard* Alright, now the hallways should be switching around, turning him directly into France's cell! Let's get some video feed on the screen!

*Video*

France: (Naked) Hmm, a new Amour to test out the Kamasutra?

Kanda: What… But, I went the exact opposite…

France: Then it is FATE mi Amour! *Glomps*

(Due to fangirl nosebleeds, we refuse to show this video on here, but you can watch it at bullshit address dot not. All we are classified to say, is that it involves Butter, Baguettes, a Depraved walrus, an octopus, an eggbeater, Juggling, and for some reason, Corn.)

DD: Well, that is the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my life, I'm just going to see what 4chan thinks of it!

Allen: You wanted me, remember?

DD: Yes, here, drink this Soda!

Allen: That's it? *Chugs it down* Alright, this is weird… My ass feels like a Bubble bath, I can taste magenta, everyone is made of cotton candy, and you're a hippo!

DD: Alright, stage Beatles is done, now time for stage Lonely Hearts Club Band! *Hands Allen a Guitar* Now play what you feel deep inside your heart!

(Surprisingly, Allen did manage to legalize Pot and LSD, not through Song, but by beating the everloving SHIT out of the President of Faketonia.)

DD: That was… Interesting… and apparently you can rhyme Orange with Whore Binge. Kanda! GET OVAH HERE!

Kanda: WHAT THE FUCK NOW!

DD: Not fuck, Shit!

Kanda: What?

Allen: Alright, Mah name is DJ Not Nice, I'mma gonna kick ya' into tha' Pile o' Shit Right ova thar' *Punches Kanda in the face, causing him to fall face first into dog shit.*

Kanda: YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!

DD: Well, Allen's likely going to stay this way for the next eight hours, and I don't mind, I find this funny as hell!

Allen: Now where's mah Jelly Bean Smack Biatch? *Dope slaps DD*

DD: *Dazed* Here you go man. *Pulls out a box of Jelly Belly's*

Allen: Feckin' finally magical Leprechaun! *Riverdances to his cell*

DD: And now, Justified Karma!

Allen: Wuh- *Fall into Dog shit pile*

DD: Alright England , you know what to do…

England: *Pumps firehose* You know it!

Kanda: Oh hell no! I've got a score to settle with that asshole! *Dives into Dog shit Pile Begins fighting Allen*

DD: Just spray them….

England: *Fires jet of hot boiling water*

Allen: It Burrrrrrrnnnnnnsssss ussss! *Ducks*

Kanda: Well fuck it I need a bath for what France did to me…

DD: This was a pretty interesting chapter, see you soon! Sadly, I'm not going to castrate Gilgamesh, since… well, that just disgusts me…..


End file.
